Say wisely

Speaking is an ability but saying is an art! Have you ever experienced your friend becoming toxic , posting negative or heartbroken stories and statuses. How do you deal with such a friend?

Let’s discuss it in form of a story!

Imagine that your friend A is calling and messaging you from the past few days and you are not replying as you are busy with some stuff. You want to answer but you are really worked up. Now the next day, your friend messages you saying “ see its completely fine if you don’t want to talk to me , just tell me and I will not disturb you now on”. You read the message and feel, “ has she lost her mind and what is she even taking about , you feel pissed off and misunderstood” and you reply, “ see , there’s really no need of making it this big and making a scene of it, it’s not a big deal hence there is no need of all this”.

Question: How would you feel ? ( imagine yourself as your friend A )

Answer : Obviously , it depends, right ! the friend A might rebel and shower his/her rage on you for such response or someone might not even answer the message , feeling no need to carry forward the conversation and some other might need justification, a reason for not answering the calls. Ideally your response should be according to your friend’s mood, personality and state of mind. But , is it possible for you to be aware of how he / she is feeling every time? no right !

Then what do you do ? You react rather than respond! You see the message , feel at rage and just type in whatever you feel like. Do you think that how this message can effect your friend , do you even consider his/ her involvement while reacting. Unfortunately , we don’t !

Just imagine if that friend A , who is posting really nasty things from the past days and seem very negative , might be going through something very difficult and also remember , what might be difficult and terrible for him/her , might not be a big deal for you. So don’t judge , just understand . Your friend might be just vouching for some support and acceptance, and they are showing you there struggling real self because they consider you a good friend and expects assistance and help. But , unknowingly sometimes you might not think like this and just do what you feel like, which hurts the other person.

This story is to convey that , please don’t judge people and especially when they suddenly seem very disturbed or toxic . For dealing with such people, either don’t respond or respond with kindness and not rudeness. Don’t play rude and never try to justify your audacity with being straight forward or truthful. A lot of people think that thinking so deeply just for a mere reply is completely unnecessary and is just exaggeration of the entire situation. But you know what , its not an exaggeration and is very necessary. Your such reaction might make that person conscious of discussing such things with anyone then and this suppression of thoughts then might make him/her very toxic.